Quotes
Quotes I’ve found in and around the Internet, collected because they make me smile. Check the page source if you want to see some commented sources.
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[brackets], (parentheses) and {squirlies}
7/11 was a part time job
Abandon hope all ye who enter here
Apply the handbrake ya dumb broad
Are we still in denial when we know we’re not happy here
Aryan Tupac
As above, so below
Back to the Pleistocene
Be cheerful, enjoy your life
Be excellent to each other
Being pissed off is better than being pissed on
Brevity is the soul of wit
Bring snacks and supplies
Buckle Up Buckaroo
Bugger this for a game of soldiers
But that’s just a theory
Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius
Call me Ishmael
C’est la vie
Coins I flip land on their sides
CSS is Awesome
Curious and curiouser
d'ä e å, å i åa ä e ö
Damnation, for this?
Deus vult
Diamonds are intrinsically worthless
Did you see that ludicrous display last night
Do androids dream of dick?
Don’t sweat the small stuff
Each of us fights for what he lacks most
Errors by errorlight
Ever felt the joy of karate chopping an ankle?
Every man has his price
Every sixty seconds in Africa, a minute passes
Everybody lies
Everyday we stray further from Saradomin’s light
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence
Feed me Seymore
Feels like we only go backwards
Fuck off up the model village
Furthermore, I consider that Carthage must be destroyed
Get used to disappointment
Glory to Arstotska
Hail Hydra
Happy birthday to the ground
Have you hugged your Zords today?
Have you seen this chicken?
Having fun is not a waste of time
He has no wallet, I checked
Heavy wizardry begins here
Hell is real. Heaven is not
Hesitation is defeat
Hi, my name is Adobe and I’m a professional software suite
History vindicated Kaczynski
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die
How far do you think I can kick this bucket?
I am never gonna financially recover from this
I am the milkman, my milk is delicious
I did not have sexual relations with that woman
I don’t know about you, but I could murder a curry
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully
I had a plan for that rock
I hate to hate and I hate that
I have diplomatic immunity
I know it when I see it
I loathe Zuni aesthetics
I mentally shake hands with you for your answer
I never saved anything for the swim back
I only doubted you up until the end
I regret learning to read
I saw her duck with my telescope
I think he took his wallet
If you die in russia, you die in real life
If you don’t stand for something, you’ll be sure to fall for anything
If you know beans about chili, you know that chili has no beans
If you play your cards right, you might just get to meet the whole gang
If you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget
If you were any simpler you’d have to be watered every day
I’m not a real doctor, But I am a real worm
I’m not complaining, I’m just explaining
In Scotland the forbidden fruit is fruit.
In war there are no winners, only widows
In your opinion, which country contributed most to the defeat of Germany in 1945?
Incidentally, my name is Gedächtnis
Into the incinerator you go
Is almond a fruit?
Is that a euphemism?
Is this capoeira?
ISO-8601 for life
It is a very comfortable hell
It takes forever, until it doesn’t
It’s called a child-size soda because it is the size of a child
It’s funny how a diagnosis can make things worse
It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care
It’s not your pudding, you alzheimer’s lout!
It’s probably fine
Jeremy Irons lives in your garage
Jessie, you’re a good dog
Just because you’re paranoid, don’t mean they’re not after you
Just one cornetto
Keep it futile
keine gnade meine kinder
Leave the handgun, take the cash
Let nothing human be alien to you
Let’s see what life has installed for us
Magic must defeat magic
Make your influence positive
Mark, be honest. Is this not a little bit better than being dead?
May you live in interesting times
Me? The one person I trusted most?
More similar than different
Mother, should I trust the government
Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind
Mustn’t grumble
My name is Bolo Santosi, I am the leader of the revolutionary army known as the Reapers.
My tables are so clean you could eat off them
No capes
NO ESCAPE, NO SURRENDER, NO WITNESSES
No kali-ba
No one knows anything
nofkyo
Not a hill I want to die on
Not great, not terrible
Not my circus, not my monkeys
Not today, old friend
Not waving, but drowning
Nothing will be born from hatred
Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides
Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers
Off we go then
On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog
One clown leg
Only a sith deals in absolutes
Peaceful sheep live happily eating grass
Pining for the fjords
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
Poverty has its freedoms; opulence has its obstacles
RAID is not backup
Reader beware, you’re in for a slap
Rosalind’s a fucking nightmare
Roses are red, violets are blue, Unexpected ‘{’ on line 32
Row row. Fight the power
Run Joey, Run! You should be faster now!
Seldom surprised, often disappointed
Shh my child… Let’s not do to anything too rash…
Shikata ga nai
Shooting stars only
Sic semper tyrannis you fucking idiot
Sleep is Just Death Being Shy
Snifters of cognac for everyone
So it goes
Some men you just can’t reach
Sometimes I work for the government
Sometimes war dreams of itself
Swansea is the graveyard of ambition
Tart baker
Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
Thank you for pressing the self-destruct button
Thanks, I hate it
That anime hologram’s just not that into you
That’s my secret Cap'. I’m always tired.
That’s not theft, that’s sporting spirit
The beatings will continue until morale improves
The burned hand teaches best
The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race
The things you own end up owning you
The truth shall set you free
The victim of a clerical error
The years start coming and they don’t stop coming
Theoretical degree in physics
There can be only one
There was blood in the kitchen, there was blood in the hall
They think your haircuts are un-American
Things won’t always be this good
This better not awaken anything in me
This inhuman place makes human monsters
This is only a test of the emergency broadcast system
This is extremely dangerous to our democracy
This isn’t horseplay, it’s a major felony
This meme is already nothing but a memory
Three men, two ladies
Tiny Terry loves his pickles
Trust, but verify
‘Tis a silly place
Tsundoku
Two hundred dollar, please
Two steps forward, three steps back
We feel alone together
Well I’m not here to fuck spiders
Well. I guess there’s nothing to do but lay here and wait to die
What a digital dummy
What a save!
What are you screaming for? I haven’t even started cooking yet
What goes on in liminal space stays in liminal space, right?
What we’ve got here is failure to communicate
What’s her name again? - Eileen, I think
What’s it all about then? Seriously, when you get down to it
When should I start to worry?
Where dreams go to die
Who you calling a stalker? I’m not a stalker, you’re a stalker!
With all the things you have in your life, are you any more happy than your dog?
wOrange, Orange, wGreen, Blue, wBlue, Green, wBrown, Brown
Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad
You are being shagged by a rare parrot!
you are tending a plant that is dead
You can’t eat your cake and have it too
You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You need one to skydive twice
You guys have phones, don’t you?
You sound like my parole officer
You stay, I go. No following.
You want sympathy? It’s in the dictionary, between shit and syphilis
You wouldn’t find Hitler playing jungle music at 3 o’clock in the morning
Your proposal is acceptable
Your stories have entertained me. I will let you into the cave for a short time.
You’ve got razzle-dazzle
🇬🇧 English (Traditional), 🇺🇸 English (Simplified)