Embarrassing Asda

I was driving home in heavy rain at night and the sat nav in the car was messing up, telling me to zigzag through side streets instead of going through a fully open straight road.

I could barely see however, and at the last junction I heard a thump and a scraping noise where I’d run over a couple of cones that didn’t need to be there in the road. They were still mostly up and it was raining heavily so I just drove off and entered a shopping centre car park. It was still raining heavily and I couldn’t see the signs for directions so ended up entering through the exit and meeting traffic that just beeped at me while I gestured knowing I was in the wrong.

I arrived at an Asda supermarket however you weren’t allowed to leave once you’d entered without buying any items so I picked up what I thought was a drink in a small bottle and a packet of boiled sweets. When waiting in a line for a till I was approached by a pretty young woman who was asking me lots of questions about who I was and what I was doing. She awkwardly pointed out I was only buying condoms and lube but I casually went along wth it like it was what I’d intended all along.

Finally at the till I tried paying wth my debit card but it wouldn’t accept it, so I offered cash for the items but my pockets were filled with all kinds of random metallic objects, and the cashier couldn’t really count and was convinced I was trying to short change her. While pulling the metal out of my pockets I had also pulled out a couple of knives used for work and a realistic looking gun that was actually a lighter.

As I finally got through the till with my pockets jingling, holding the pistol and my unwanted items I was stopped by two policemen who asked me to confirm my cars licence plate which I did. I assumed that this was to do with running over the traffic cones but they checked over a sheet of paper and told me all was in order and left without saying anything further.